“This is ridiculous,” she thought to herself as she stared at the blank piece of paper in front of her. “I should just compose this using the computer.” She thought about sitting down in front of the keyboard as she gazed at the stationery she had selected that morning.
“I could compose the letter [...]
“Write him a letter. Tell him how you feel,” Dr. Nolan said during one of their weekly sessions. “You don’t have to mail it. We’ll deal with whether or not you should do that at a later date. Your assignment this week is simply to write.”
“I don’t know if I can do that,” she declared matter-of-factly.
“You might need to work at it gradually. It may be too difficult for you to write everything you need to say in one sitting. You may have to write it all down over the course of the week. And, frankly, you may not be finished by the time we next meet. This may be an ongoing process for a period of time. But this week I want you to get started. Next week we’ll assess your progress.”
“Why are you asking me to do this?” she asked pointedly.
Everything had to be perfect. The house had to be spotless, with no clutter. “Everything in its place and a place for everything,” her mother told her countless times as she was growing up.
The dinner had to be cooked just as her mother herself had cooked the same meal so many times: [...]
I awoke with a start. I was disoriented, confused . . . it took me a moment to realize where I was. In fact, I was right at home in my own warm, comfortable bed.
So why had I awakened so forcefully and with such a jolt?
I got up and stumbled about [...]
I carry him with me everywhere, every day.
He has been with me all these years . . . ever-present, never present.
In my thoughts. In my dreams. In my daydreams. In my hopes, my goals, my triumphs, my failures, my achievements, my near-misses.
In my eyes, in the air that I breathe.
I carry his [...]